December 1, 2005

First post on the new site. Wow! I feel like Teddy Kennedy when he beat the Chappaquiddick rap.

Lots of fun last night at Joey's. Something about a Joey's crowd. I took Ben, my 18-year old son, to the club for the first time. He dug it. He had seen me before at a couple of one-nighters, but this was at a REAL CLUB...fun for both of us. Stanley, as usual, rocked the joint. I had a good guest set, which was followed by a new feature I'd never met before. John Garrett. Nice kid. Danny Bevins headlined and was on fire. Good hanging with Russ Brown and Steve Lind, who, by the way, should be featuring there. Thanks to Bill Bushart for giving me the shot. Bill should be headlining there on a monthly basis.

I was watching the news tonight and there was a story about a memorial being built for Rosa Parks. Timing in life is everything, I think. Timing and circumstance. Rosa became a civil rights icon because she had the guts not to give up her seat to a white man. But what if the man who wanted her seat was a one-legged retarded guy? Kind of changes things.

December 5, 2005

It's my youngest son's birthday today. His name is Max, and he turns eleven at about 2:30 this afternoon. He's easily the coolest kid in the neighborhood. Much cooler than me when I was eleven. He's got all the newest technology figured out, he's web savvy, and can suss people out at forty paces. When I was eleven, I was picking my nose and dropping balls in right field. Happy Birthday, little man. Your old man loves you.

December 6, 2005

I watched former president Jimmy Carter on the Daily Show last night. He used to be just an ineffectual, embittered ex-president intent on rewriting his "legacy",  such as it was. Now he fancies himself as a sort of defacto voice of America. What lunacy. After watching him blather on about how Republicans have ruined the country and endangered its values, and listening to John Stewart fawn over the decrepit old fool, I remembered the glee in which the country booted his sorry ass out of office 25 years ago. The Reagan landslide was not just a return to a stronger America. It was a condemnation of Liberalism and its then figurehead--Carter. Is there anything more pathetic--more stomach turning--than listening to a failure recount his supposed "Glory days"? Yes, there is. It's watching John Stewart go down on him in front of millions of people.  

December 7, 2005

Get your asses out to Joey's Comedy Club in Livonia next Tuesday night! I'm doing a Toys for Tots benefit there at 8:00 with Marv Anderson and the King of Detroit Blue Comedy, Bill Bushart. Marv is an up and coming kid who will be emceeing, and Bill is the funniest guy I've ever worked with. Bring a toy, bring some money, whatever. Just get to Joey's. This is going to be a fun show.

December 8, 2005

Fire Millen.

Did a set at Wise Guys last night. Thanks to Mike Orensteen for putting together a great open mic. He does a great job coordinating the talent at this new club. J. Chris Newburg was there. Funny as always. Matt McClowery (I'm not sure I spelled that right) did a great set to cap off the night. Somebody give this kid a job!

December 11, 2005

Lots of fun tonight, hanging out with Laura Lou and Bill Bushart at the Fonte D'Amore show. We had a great show, and we raised something like $2000 for St. Mary Hospital.

I just checked my Guestbook. I get some of the weirdest posts. Somebody telling me I was suckling (not sucking) their nipples. That's the thing with these guestbooks. People can post anonymously and say any stupid shit they want, and the only retaliation I have is to take down their post. But I'm going to show more guts than these anonymous pussies, and leave their posts intact.

December 13, 2005

Tookie Williams bought the farm last night. Finally. I loved seeing all the Liberal whiners out in front of the prison, trying to mold this multiple-murderer into some kind of icon. What is wrong with these people? No one remembers the names of the people he shot-gunned, but we'll forever be listening to the likes of Mike (What happened to my career?) Farrell, and Joan (Please, God, make her shut up) Baez tell us that Tookie was a wonderful human being who didn't deserve to die. Wrong. He richly deserved to die. His victims didn't deserve it. "But he wrote children's books!", they all scream. So did Dr. Seuss, but he didn't kill three people. Did you know that this piece of human flotsam was nominated for the Nobel Peace prize?! Twice! Make it stop! But, what do you expect from an organization that gave their worthless medal to Yasser Arafat? I'm so pissed off about this my hair is actually flying out of my head, follicle by follicle.

Tookie. Easily the cutest nickname for a triple-murderer. Ever. 

December 23, 2005

Sometimes I come off as a cynical bastard, but I love Christmas.  And I'm a little tired of the left's attempts at turning it into some kind of amorphous, spiritless, pointless holiday.

Like Kwanzza.

What the hell is Kwanzza, anyway? Even my black friends don't know what it is. It sounds like some new board game. "Okay, everybody. Here's how it works. Roll the dice and move your game piece. If you land on a blue square, yell "Kwanzza!" and punch the person to your left in the head."

December 27, 2005

This posting is in blue, because that's the way I'm feeling today. Christmas is over, and I didn't get what I asked for. Carrot Top is still getting work, and Richard Pryor is dead. Go figure.

December 31, 2005--New Year's Eve

I get a little melancholy on New Year's Eve. And it's not because I'm playing in the basement of a bowling alley in Waterford. Cool Jerk's is a fine club, and the people there are cool. It's just that I have to make some more New Year's resolutions, and I didn't keep any of the ones I made last year. I'm still smoking, drinking and chasing skirts. And I haven't gotten my new library card.